The Human Ego - Attack and Defence against Narcissism – The ultimate enemy to your spiritual growth.

An important discussion to have in this day and age with the birthing and rise of psychology is the discussion of the human ego. In psychology, a person’s psyche is composed of three aspects, the “id” – which is the primitive, animalistic side, the unconscious aspect, the “ego” – which is our day to day operating that interacts with the world and human identity and language, and finally the “superego”, or “superconscious”, this is our moral aspect. It is the ego in this model that mediates between impulse and morality to decide how to walk through life.

With the rise of psycho-spiritual discussions and teaching, such as those that follow in my second book to come, there is a similar model known as the three souls of a person – their higher or light self, their middle self and the shadow or underworld self. The functions of each aspect are similar to the psychological model of id, ego and superego, however a fourth aspect is recognised in my teachings. The “ego” is not perceived as the mediator or the middle/human self, it is seen as the dweller on the threshold to enlightenment; we all have one. It is created during childhood and it is essentially the total embodiment of selfishness beyond the means of survival, which the shadow self is responsible for. Some have come to name this aspect the “Inner Child”, but not our playful aspect we sometimes lose as we age, it is the “Wounded Inner Child”.

A comparison table has been drawn up below to give you an idea of the differences between the mortal nature of the human ego, and the eternal nature of the human consciousness/souls:

The Human Ego / Dweller on the threshold	The eternal Human consciousness / Souls
Seeks to serve itself	Seeks to serve others
Requires constant validation from others	Validation comes from within
Fulfils its needs regardless of others	Always considers others' needs
Easily offended and reactionary	Accepting and negotiable
Rejects “Creator”, sees itself as “God”	The soul embraces creator as family
The ego always looks elsewhere	The soul self-reflects and goes within
The ego is utterly blameless	The soul accepts accountability
An egotistical person always causes pain	A soulful person seeks to heal pain
Moral principles based on receiving praise and validation for good behaviour	Accepts moral principles to ensure little harm is caused to “us” as a group
The biggest egos always compete in life	The divine soul supports and encourages

The wounded inner child, or the human ego, especially in the capacity of an adult who demonstrates emotional immaturity as a narcissist, can often manifest in brutal ways when this person is triggered. These people are found in families, the workplace, the dating scene, you cannot always avoid these wounded people who require much healing but you can set strong boundaries. So why am I bringing up this category of people specifically? It is to ensure that your journey to total self-empowerment is not stifled and your self-esteem destroyed by these people. As per their nature.

The typical behaviours of such people are: Seduction – Luring you in with false flatteries and a faux front to be perceived as likeable before they find their next victim to either have you for control, as a flying monkey, or an enemy in their mind, this is how they see people – as tools

Love bombing – Being overly complimentary, especially in dating “You're the only one for me”, “I've never met anybody as special as you” very early on, this is not just a part of their desire to draw you into their scope of control, it is to feed off the niceness and gratitude you pay for their compliments

Persuasion – They will always try and persuade you to come around to their ways or desires, this is a more gentle behaviour they use, it is still toxic however as they are disregarding your perspectives or desires for their own

Isolationism – Got friends? Not for long. Got hobbies? Not for long. They will in time completely isolate you, even from family, they use you as their next “toy”, their terms and that is it, and if anybody else dare reach out to you, the tantrum and drama ensue, just as if a spoiled brat is having their toy played with by another

Control – To maintain a sense of superiority over you, they will go to many lengths to control you, they will guilt trip you with emotional abuse, they will control your finances to limit your freedom, they will use mental abuse and make you doubt your devotion to the relationship, the second you want to see the girls at the mall or the fellas at the pub, confrontation ensues as you dare step out of their control for a short period

Exploitation – Essentially, these people do not love you, or even miss you, they love what they get from you, they miss what they had from you, this can be money, their supply, or using you as a flying monkey

Manipulation – They will always use manipulation to get their own way, they will essentially, and very very cleverly, re-word everything to ensure that their view is the one you have

Gas lighting – Rearranging your recollection of events to make you doubt yourself and your memory, this affects your mind greatly and grinds away at your sense of certainty, which makes you more reliable on their supposed recollection, coming back to power and control

Deflection – As they are always the victim, no matter how much abuse they dish out, the moment you call them out on their bullshit they will always deflect away from themselves, often back onto you Silent treatment – Similarly to gas lighting, this behaviour is used to make you doubt yourself, to make you think “Was I really the bad guy?”, “Why won't they speak to me?”, they use silent treatment to enjoy the feeling of having power over you so when you query it, they enjoy the sense of being needed. This is especially true during an argument, or a break-up you may have wanted to reconcile

Hypocrisy – A classic for those who deflect all blame and any form of accountability - “Do as I say, not as I do!” and the moment you question it, a bomb goes off

Smear-campaigns, to deflect – Often taking the victims words out of context, especially cropping messages/emails/voice clips, going to all lengths to look innocent, to be perceived as a victim to maintain their supply of attention, and those who lack critical thinking skills do just that, feed them with pity

Their neediness makes you needy – To a point, as they grind down your will, as they warp your memory, as they isolate you and make themselves the centre to both of your worlds, you will find it incredibly hard to break free from them - like a black hole - and find yourself thinking you need them, but in truth you most certainly do not, they need you

Also included in these rotten and abusive behaviours is Victim blaming – No matter how much they have abused a person, no matter how much “evidence” is even available, they will always turn the tables and blame the victim for abusing them often through what is called reactive abuse, whereby you get ratty and react to their onslaught of abuse negatively, it is not you, it is entirely them, and their cruelty provoking you into a fight or flight state

What happens the moment they realise you see that they are a narcissist? They essentially seek to destroy, blame or remove you by any means possible, this is because they know that their extreme fragility or low self-esteem has been exposed which de-stabilises them emotionally.

So what causes this? Childhood trauma, there are quite a few theories as to what causes the wounded inner child, it is usually a lack of childhood love, and alas, this halts their emotional growth, so as they age and become adults, their mind and emotional aspect do not. Sure, they can converse with people, they can drive, they can pay bills, but there will always be a “need for attention”, and they will use people by any means to fulfil their need for this supply.

As you can see, their sole mission is purposefully to use and destroy others while maintaining a sense supply and of grandiose to cover their extreme fragility – as you might have noticed when confronting such types – it is often met with the aforementioned behaviours. These people need love above all else, but your love will never be enough, what they essentially need – is a loving parent, as odd as it sounds. They need to be the child, often spoiled, and they need you do be the adult. The provider. The wallet. The carer. The protector. And the source of unconditional love. Even if you are not family! If you are a person of absolute self-belief, confidence and self-love, they will envy this and want what you have, thus making you the next target to kick from the limelight of positive recognition.

What about people who love themselves? Are they narcissists? In fact, one can argue that they are the opposite, because they will love their successes, their flaws, their looks and yet these people who love the limelight, often have no issues sharing it or promoting or helping others to look the part and love themselves and join in. The narcissist will shove you aside to stand in the light, even if you tumble down a cliff.

So how do you protect yourself from these people?

As you begin to walk your spiritual path you will notice many more inner promptings and intuitive moments from your spirit guides. Listen to these, because if you are entangled with such a person, there is a good chance that your mind will be clouded with self-doubt, so follow the intuitions and establish self-care.

Establish firm boundaries; do not take the bait. Do not allow boundary violation. Quite literally just say “No”, something they hate, but it is self-preservation on your part. Ideally give them the eternal silent treatment (Grey rock) by walking away and never looking back, they will feel a sense of power at first, but as soon as they become emotionally unstable and cry out for their narcissistic supply from you, they have a melt down and try to lure you in again, and again, and again. Always mediate via a solicitor for serious purposes. Until they finally give up and find another victim.

By completely ignoring these types and focusing on self-love, you will become strong in time, particularly with the meditations and other activities to heal your heart.

But what if it is someone you cannot escape, for example a colleague or relative? “Lovers” and “Friends” can be dumped, the former two, less so unless needs must, quite literally minimise communication, be firm, and do not feed them. I wish you all the best in your growth and maintaining boundaries, for how can you believe in your magick if you cannot believe in yourself and your worth? See my blog on “Self-preservation through self-love” if you need any help. Blessed Be! XxX www.mathew-walker.co.uk #witch #witches #witchesofinstagram #pagan #pagansofinstagram #wicca #wiccan #magic #magick #tiktok #tiktokwitches #love #empowerment #personalpower #freedom #narcissism #fyp #foryou #foryoupage